How to Stop the Fear of Making Decisions

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Do We Know How to Stop the Fear of Making Decisions?

What does it mean to stop the fear of making decisions? As Americans as well as citizens of other countries, we get to choose where we live, who we vote for, what kind of car we drive, where we want to work, how many kids we want, or if we want any kids at all.

Researchers at Cornell University estimate that we make 226.7 decisions each day on food alone. As our responsibilities and independence increases, and so does the amount of choices we make. It’s estimated that the average adult makes about 35,000 relatively conscious decisions each and every day.

Each decision we make carries certain consequences with it. Most decisions we make on a daily basis have very little weight to them. If I wear my red sweater instead of my blue sweater, my decision isn’t going to make any difference in my life whatsoever. If I decided to wear my blue sweater, which of course is my favorite sweater, and someone spills bleach on it, that may feel like the end of the world for all of 2 seconds, but it really isn’t earth shattering. So why can’t we stop the fear of making decisions?

A good life is usually a result of wise decisions and even bad decisions that we learn from. A life filled with negative consequences is usually the result of poor decisions especially those that we never learn from. It might be impossible to make good decisions every time, but I believe the fear of making decisions is a potentially damaging habit.

Why do people have want to Stop the fear of making a decision?

So many people decide to hold off on making a decision because something better might be just around the corner. You probably know the acronym FOMO (fear of missing out) A lot of people, especially young people, don’t make a decision, because they are afraid that something more enticing is coming along.

FOMO or the fear of missing out, is definitely a rational feeling. We all want to experience the best things and have the best things that life has to offer. But putting off that decision, seemingly forever because you don’t want to miss out on something that may or may not happen is not rational.

Every choice we make closes the door on other opportunities. If you choose to work and go to school then you may not have a lot of time to binge watch that Netflix series everyone is talking about.

If you are a student and study biology, then you probably won’t be able to study history, law, or medicine. That is unless you never leave school. If you travel to Paris, France for your summer vacation, then you won’t be able to Peru, Ireland or other places you want to visit.

Why do we need to stop the fear of making a decision?

Unless you make a choice and commit to a certain path, your life will be fairly erratic. And when all is said and done, you will in fact, miss out on some of the very best things that life has to offer.

You can’t have it all! There is no room in life for everything you have ever wanted. Seriously, where would you put it? We can’t do everything that would be nice to do. We can’t go everywhere that we think would be nice to go. There is simply not enough time.

We must remember that not making a decision is in itself a decision. When choosing a place to live, we forego all other places to live.

And because of the finality of the choice, people decide not to make that commitment. That applies to marriage in particular. Most people aren’t willing to commit to anyone, even if they can be happy and fulfilled with this person. Why? because they are waiting for a more perfect someone to come into their life. Are we so awesome that we are holding out for perfection? Is there even such a thing?

3 Steps to Stop the Fear of Making a Decision

No matter who we spend our time with or who we spend our time with, we are ultimately in the pursuit of happiness. So it should be much easier to stop the fear of making decisions if we consider the below.

Charles Murray gave a speech in 2009 about a life well lived. He said, “I’m talking about the kinds of things that we look back upon when we reach old age and let us decide that we can be proud of who we have been and what we have done.”

Charles Murray suggested 3 things needed in decision making that will bring us happiness or a source of “deep satisfaction”

1. it must be important. We really don’t enjoy deep satisfaction with things that are trivial. Like my blue sweater or the Netflix video series.
2. That decision will require some effort. We all know the cliché “nothing worth having comes easily.”
3. We need to take responsibility for the consequences of the choices and decisions we make. You can’t blame your circumstances or other people for your bad choices. They were your choices after all.

But What if Making a Decision Causes Us to Fail?

Let’s say you are trying to make a decision to start over and move across the country. You have always wanted to live in this particular city because it is surrounded by beaches (you love to surf). You love the community feel of this city.

You search the web and find a cute 3-bedroom house and you even find out that the company you work for has an office in the new city. You get excited.

You decide to go for it! You are so excited that you can hardly wait to move. You interview for the job, and you put an offer in on the house. Then the sale of that house falls through and you don’t get the job?

Don’t let the fear of failure cause you to stop pursuing your dreams! You have made the decision to move, don’t go back on that decision because it just got hard.

Stop the fear of making decisions with a process:

We have all made good and bad decisions in our life. Because of that, we are often hesitant about making big decisions and especially afraid to take a risk.

Remember that decisions we make that bring deep satisfaction should be important and done with effort. Below is a process to help sharpen our decision-making skills. challenging, and difficult. Are you concerned that if you make that decision and Do you have a decision-making process, or do you fly by the seat of your pants? Given that

1. What is your desired outcome? When you know what you really want, the path or direction becomes clearer. What is the point of the decision you are making? Is it to increase your income? Find a spouse? Hire the cheapest contractor you can find? What are you trying to accomplish?
2. Are you being rational in making a decision? Most decisions made under pressure or when we are in a high emotionally state, are usually NOT good decisions. Did you decide that you are moving out of the state, because your significant other just dumped you? When you aren’t thinking clearly or you are emotionally charged, you will likely consider your immediate comfort. That only leads to bad decisions.
3. Are you focusing on the future? How does your decision affect your life in the weeks, months, or even years to come? Decisions made while placing emphasis on short-term wants may cause problems for you down the road.
4. How would you handle the worst possible outcome? Of course, we want to look at life in a positive way, but when you know that you can actually handle the worst, it’s so much easier to move forward. What if you don’t get the job or if the house that you wanted falls through? Is there another job? Can you find another house?
5. How much time do you need to decide? Then decide! As you know some decisions take longer than others, but avoid being paralyzed by a indecision. Do you want to take a week to decide on whether to take that job across the country? Take that time, make a decision, and move forward. NO REGRETS!
6. What have you learned from past experiences? What did you learn from your past that will help you make a wise decision today? All of your previous wise and poor decisions are great resources to make better decisions.
7. Can you get advice from an expert or other people? If you really don’t have enough information to make a good decision, get some help. Sometimes a mentor, family member friend or expert can shed some light on your situation and help you see things in a different way.
8. Take action! After making a decision, it’s important follow through on that decision. Take action! Don’t get wishy washy. Indecision is not how to have a life well lived. Have you made decisions in the past that you never acted upon? Now is the time to stop the fear of making a decision. Make it a habit to take big steps that support your decision.
9. What are your values? When you know your values and what is important to you in life, there are less options in making that decision. And this makes it easier to choose. Is family everything to you? Do you want to live close to them?

Conclusion for how to Stop the fear of making decisions

Making wise decisions is one of the best ways to have a live well lived. A poor decision usually isn’t fatal, but it will be challenging to recover from.

When we stop the fear of making decisions, and start living a live well spent, you will find that the pursuit of happiness is less challenging and even when a poor decision is made, you can pick yourself up and move forward with purpose and deep satisfaction.

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