Here Are Some Helps to Motivate Your Kids To Get Things Done
If you have children of any age, you know how hard it can be to motivate your kids to get things done. There are activities like sports and friends as well as video games, cell phones, and computers that keep our kids busy. And convincing our kids that household responsibilities and chores are just as important can be challenging.
Because every child is as different as night and day, not all methods of motivating your kids to get things done will work for every child. Keep in mind that some methods that work for one family will not work for another. So if you see a parent struggling to motivate their children to get things done, and it isn’t working….and it worked perfectly well for you, don’t judge them. We are all trying to figure this out together.
Something to think about: Parents, you may want to be your child’s friend because your kids communicate and confide in their friends more than they confide in you. Your goal is to be their teacher, provider, nurturer and motivator first. One day, it may take many decades, but if you love them and stick with them through thick and think, they will call you their best friend.
Here are 5 ways to help motivate your kids to get things done:
1. Be An Example.
It is a familiar scene in many tv shows and movies: the parents are sitting down on the couch or at a table, barking orders at their kids. If kids see parents doing nothing all day long, they don’t feel obligated to help out around the house. Children will emulate their parents. If you work hard and your kids see it, then they will want to work hard as well. Kids are sponges, they absorb all of the positive and unfortunately the negative as well.
2. Praise Your Kids.
Your kids need your attention and praise. They want to know that their efforts are not only recognized but are also awesome!
(Personal Experience) When one of my son’s was 3 years old, he wanted to learn how to clean the toilet. I took his hand and showed him how to scrub the toilet inside and out. Soon after I showed him, he cleaned the toilet without being asked and all by himself. This is him cleaning the toilet.
When he was done, he showed me his work. He did a great job for a 3 year old. I was over the top excited! I told him he did a great job while I hugged him and kissed him all over his face (It was sooo kissable anyway) and I told him how lucky I was that he was my little boy.
Today he is so helpful and I attribute a lot of that to the exaggerated amounts of praise I gave him when he was little. I don’t recommend kissing your teen all over the face, they may think you are a creeper, but a heartfelt “Thank you” goes a long way. Every child is amazing and they need to be told constantly. Your kids want you to be proud of them, so tell them.
By encouraging them and praising them frequently, you are reinforcing good behavior and motivating your kids to get things done
3. Use a Reward System.
Show your kids that completing tasks can in themselves be rewarding. For example, watching as many ingredients mixed and put together can transform into a delicious pizza. Discovering how fun and rewarding making meals can be will encourage kids to help out again next time.
Sometime, however, just doing a task well, requires more than just saying the words “good job” children are motivated to get things done by a reward system. The rewards don’t have to be huge or involve a lot of money.
It may work better if you and your child can come up with a reward system together. They will feel confident and be more motivated to get things done if they know they had a part in the reward system. You can also reward small children by:
• Reading a story to them.
• Doing an activity together that they enjoy
• Playing games that they love with them – Look at the links below for fun games to play
• Curling up with a pile of pillows and watching a movie together.
• There is a great rewards chart in the links below to motivate your children.
An allowance may work better for young teens who want to spend time with friends at the movies or grabbing a bite to eat at a fast food place. They will be much more willing to do their household chores if the reward is will let them hang out with friends. If you have older teens, the reward could be the use of a car. It is important to come up with a reward system involving everyone in the family. It is also important to hold each other accountable. If the teen wants to take the car, then the teen needs to do the work. It is that simple.
4. Using Consequences.
This is another way to motivate kids to get things done. Please note, there is a difference between a consequence and a punishment. When your kids fail to do their chores or the tasks you have asked them to do, this is a great opportunity to teach them that their actions or lack of actions will impact their daily life either in a positive or negative way. This is a method that you want to start when your children are toddlers.
Perhaps you can even have this discussion in advance. Ask your child, “If you choose not to clean your room, then what should be a consequence.” If you have younger children, maybe a treasured toy should be temporarily taken away until the chore is done. Explain that consequences must be made when your child doesn’t follow the rules or do his/her chores. It is important to stick to it and be consistent. Natural and logical consequences are important methods in preparation for adulthood.
5. Give and Express Love.
Your children need and deserve to hear and know that you love them. Let them know that you are lucky to have them in your life. If you have not expressed love and appreciation regularly, re commit. Get involved in the lives of your children.
If your child is really interested in something, do it with them! (Personal Experience) A neighbor of mine was feeling like he didn’t have anything in common with his son who was around 11 years old. His son loved a particular video game. This neighbor felt like this would be a great way to become closer. So he watched and played the video game with his son. At first the neighbor was bored and didn’t really enjoy the game but he loved being with his son. Eventually, they enjoyed the game together and they became closer in so many ways.
When your kids know you care about them no matter what, they will most likely to what you ask them to do. There will be a mutual respect between you and your child. You will be able to motivate your kids to get things done and your relationship will thrive.
Motivating your children to get things done isn’t easy. It takes communication, dedication, and consistency. Sometimes it may seem like a better solution to have the attitude “if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself” staying steadfast and finding new ways to motivate your kids do get things done is much more likely to help him/her become a productive, responsible and loving adult.
As a parent, it’s your opportunity to mold your children into caring, responsible and respectful adults. Children deserve to be respected and appreciated. Kids need, attention, recognition, respect and love to be successful. When these are being met, motivating kids to get things done becomes a joy for you and your kids.
Here are some fun games and resources to use for rewards for kids:
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